US Gun Lobby Agrees Historic Compromise

An emotional Wayne LaPierre (NRA leader) at a press conference yesterday

Following recent sit-ins by Democrats in Congress – and decades of bad blood between the NRA and Liberals – a lasting agreement may finally be close.

A last-minute deal in Washington has cleared the way for gun shops and arms dealers to sell automatic weapons or ammunition to the public – but not both.

Crucially, the deal has the backing of the all-powerful National Rifle Association (NRA).  Its leader Wayne LaPierre struck an unusually conciliatory tone on the steps of the Capitol Building.

‘This agreement represents perhaps the most painful compromise in the NRA’s history. But we have to accept that sometimes retreat – and even defeat – is necessary in the interests of social harmony’.

‘Many studies have shown that, without bullets, guns pose a far lower risk to school children, police officers and hot dog vendors. Similarly, bullets without guns represent a greatly reduced threat to our nation’s wildlife and road signs’.

Asked whether there may in fact be loopholes in the new regulations working to the NRA’s advantage, LaPierre was dismissive.

‘Our lawyers have been through this with a fine tooth-comb.  The anti-gun lobby’s claims that people will simply buy a gun in one place and then buy bullets somewhere else is just scaremongering.  And frankly it’s also insulting to the gun-owning community, who are decent law-abiding people to a man.  And sometimes to a woman too’.