‘Bigoted Old White Northerners’ to be Interned in Run-Up to New EU Vote

Enemy of the State

The shock Brexit victory has hardened the resolve of important people to not be caught napping again.

‘Well we’re not going to let that happen again’, said a senior source close to Number 10.

‘Nor are we going to let the result stand. Bear in mind that the score was very close – 48.1% to 51.9% – and young, well-educated  people in important places (ie London) voted overwhelmingly to remain.

‘So, the ‘remain’ vote will become stronger by the day.  In fact, we calculate that enough PBOFs (Pro-Brexit Old Farts) will have died to tip the balance by some time in mid-November.  With any luck they will include Jeremy Corbyn’.

‘But just to be absolutely sure of getting it right next time, we will also be putting these undesirables into internment camps – just as the Americans did in 1942 to US citizens of Japanese descent following the attacks on Pearl Harbor.  A perfectly sensible precaution, that showed American democracy at its vigilant best’.

‘It makes sense to set our camps up in places where these people feel most at ease: working men’s clubs, dog racing tracks, eel and pie houses and music halls’.

‘With about one million Poles now in the UK, we also have plenty of manpower to assist the Army in rounding up the BOWNs.  Can you imagine how they’ll feel being bundled into military trucks at gunpoint by 25 year olds called Piotr and Agnieszka?

‘They’ll go ape!’