Three-Quarters of Liverpool People ‘Can’t Stand The Beatles’

‘Cliché-ridden’, ‘depressing’ and ‘endlessly repetitive’ are among the criticisms aimed at the Fab Four Two.

In a bombshell survey carried out for The Sun newspaper, Liverpudlians have revealed the depth of their contempt for the band – so long thought to be near God-like figures in their home city.

‘It’s Magical Mystery Tour this, Cavern Club that and Penny Lane the other’ said one disgruntled passer-by from central London.  ‘Try finding a busker in this town who isn’t playing Strawberry Fields Forever.  Forever.’

‘That one about a funeral is a bit miserable isn’t it.  Not the kind of thing to play at a disco.  Still at least it’s short.  There’s one song that goes ‘La la la la-la la laaa, la-la la-laaa’ for about two hours non-stop’.

‘And talk about clichés!  ‘All you Need is Love’, ‘Let it Be’, ‘Yesterday’.  Aren’t these people capable of thinking up original titles..?’

‘It’s like that Shakespeare bloke.  Best selling author ever – even more than J.K. Potter – and it’s all ‘To be or not to be’, ‘Alas poor Yorick’ and ‘Now is the Winter of our discontent’.  Lazy lazy lazy.  Someone should have him in court for fracking. No – hacking.

However, it later emerged that The Sun had slightly misreported the results, and that in fact three-quarters of Liverpudlians couldn’t stand The Sun (and the rest were not able to remember, having not read it for so long).

‘We mis-spoke, and our comments were taken out of context’ said a News UK spokesperson with long curly ginger hair.