Major Derailment at ‘Yo Sushi’ Adds to Rail Commuters’ Misery

Yet more bad news awaited Southern Rail passengers struggling into London this morning, after a ‘serious incident’ left several diners at London Victoria Station’s ‘Yo Sushi’ needing hospital treatment.

According to eye-witnesses, a southbound dish of Ramen Noodle Salad left the belt and collided headlong into a helping of Custard Dorayaki travelling in the opposite direction.  This in turn careened into an Albacore Truffle Ponzu Sashimi, before coming to rest on top of an overturned Chicken Katsu Curry.  Several adjacent dishes of the notoriously-unstable Spicy Pepper Squid then burst into flames and exploded, hurling shrapnel into windows and doors over 100 metres away.

‘I saw things today that I never want to see again’, said one woman, clearly in shock.  ‘The image of mangled custard, curry and truffle will haunt me forever’.

As multiple ambulances attended the scene, all trains into Victoria were suspended for several hours.  British Transport Police arrested and later released on bail a 24 year old chef.

The Southern Rail Passenger Forum offered its sympathies to the victims – but added that it had seen ‘little difference’ in the quality of service compared to recent days.

The event raised again the vexed question of operating procedures at restaurants.  A union representative noted: ‘Once again we see lives put at risk by an organisation intent on saving money at the expense of safety.  If Yo Sushi had not introduced the ‘one-man-one-belt’ regime in 2014, this never would have happened’. 

Yo Sushi responded that the system had been given the go-ahead by the IPSJR (Inspectorate of Pretentious and Silly Japanese Restaurants).  ‘Since 2000 on average only one customer has been injured for every 158,000,000 dish miles travelled’.