Argentina Launches Bizarre New Tactic in Row Over Falkland Islands

Argentina’s latest weapon in Falklands dispute

Buenos Aires aims to hit the UK where it hurts the most: in the stomach.

Argentina’s Minister of Corned Beef, Xavier Juarez-Juarez, today re-opened long-running diplomatic hostilities with the UK over ‘Las Malvinas’.

‘The British are major buyers of our delicious tinned meat.  What could be more frustrating than to find that the key used to open the specially-designed tins is missing?’

‘From next month, all tins of corned beef exported to the UK will have their keys removed before shipping.  We know that using a traditional tin opener instead is almost completely useless – often taking up to two hours and resulting in cut (and even severed) fingers’.

‘British public opinion will soon turn in our favour, and the British Government will come under irresistible pressure to re-open negotiations on the Islands’ future’.

In response London has called on the UN Security Council to formally condemn the Argentinian action, saying it amounts to a crime against humanity in ‘denying a people their basic right to a food that goes really well with mashed potatoes and mushy peas’.