Queen Will Scoop £100 Million Bonus if She Lives to 100

Leaked Cabinet papers reveal the Monarch on track for bumper 2026 payday.

Her Majesty takes a sober, measured view of her impending good fortune

The money will come from the public purse – prompting outrage from the TaxPayers’ Alliance – but royalists have strongly defended the idea.

‘It’s cheap at the price’ said a retired Colonel from Gloucestershire.  ‘That’s less than £3,000 a day as of June 2016 – or the equivalent of about half a dozen Americans coming over to London to watch the Changing of The Guard or Trooping the Colour’.

Others were less enamoured:

‘Bonuses! Is this a Royal Family or a Premier League football team?’ tweeted miserable scruffy lame-duck socialist git Jeremy Corbyn.

And still-raw memories have also been revived of the diasatrous 2014 Visit Britain promotional campaign slogan ‘See Her While You Still Have The Chance’.  It was quickly dropped after widespread public opposition.

Inevitably, the latest revelations have prompted speculation on how the Queen might spend the extra money.

‘Like most people of her generation, she’s very thrifty’ said former Home Secretary Douglas Hurd.  ‘I dare say she might treat the kids to some new clothes, maybe a Range Rover or two – and then squirrel the rest away in a bank.  Coutts probably.’