W.I. Cake Sales ‘Fund Terrorism’

The sale of 15 Florentines can fund one round of ‘Full Metal Jacket’ 7.9mm assault rifle ammunition

‘Sleeper cells’ of radicalised elderly white middle-class women are suspected of hiding in plain sight among the W.I.’s ranks.

The Women’s Institute – formed in 1915 – has traditionally been associated with village fetes, coffee mornings, bring-and-buy sales – and of course cakes.

In recent years, though, it has had to confront issues from the grittier side of life: contraception, abortion, people trafficking, gang rape and child pornography.

And it may now be facing its biggest ever challenge, with the suggestion that some of its members are turning to organisations such as so-called Islamic State – driven by disillusionment with Britain’s increasingly-adversarial politics, lack of opportunities for their grandchildren, the death of Sir Terry Wogan, and the indifferent quality of fresh produce at Waitrose.

‘We remember Maureen as the salt of the Earth’, said one volunteer in Somerset.  ‘She always had a smile on her face, and nobody thought anything of it when she visited Palmyra in 2003 and said in a postcard that it was “a bit of a mess, and should either be completely rebuilt or bombed to dust”‘.

‘The next thing we knew – two years ago – there she was on telly in Fallujah High Street carrying a black flag and a gatling gun’.

‘This was also around the time that the takings from our Taunton Summer Garden Party went missing – so of course we put two and two together.’

Maureen’s story is one of many to have emerged in recent years.

As a Professor at SOAS in London explained: ‘We usually think of young Muslim men as most vulnerable to being ‘turned’ – but many older women also tick some of those boxes.  They are often widowed, estranged from their children, their mental faculties are perhaps not what they were – and so they sometimes think of themselves as free agents with one last shot at living life to the full.

‘It’s the “Shirley Valentine” scenario – but with heavy artillery’.