Alan Titchmarsh Among 30 England Fans Arrested In Paris Riot

Come over here and say that, Jean-Pierre

Gardeners are incredulous at news that the presenter faces multiple charges brought by French Riot Police.

The darling of middle England, 67 year old Titchmarsh first came to fame through Gardeners’ World and Ground Force, before ploughing another successful furrow as a novelist.

‘We just can’t take it in’ said Edna Hilton, President of the Harrogate Gardeners’ Guild. ‘He was the Guest of Honour at our Summer Fete in 2012 – and was the perfect gentleman’.

Details are still sketchy, but it appears that Titchmarsh was one of a crowd of drunken England fans who charged police lines at about 1am on 28th June in Montmartre (following England’s shock defeat to Iceland), shouting obscenities, throwing tables, and exposing themselves to passers by.

It has also been suggested that Titchmarsh was carrying a full-size garden fork and had been stockpiling fertiliser in his hotel room – which if proven could see him charged under France’s tough anti-terror laws.

A long-time friend said ‘he’s so prolific, I’m surprised he has time to do this kind of thing.  Still, he’s a very patriotic man, and I dare say if someone in France had made disparaging remarks about English horticulture, he’d have been ‘up-and-at-’em.”