Health service has ‘lost all sense of perspective‘ says cross-party group of backbenchers. Customers are often asked to fill in feedback questionnaires about the services or products they use – but one such example at a Brighton hospital has caused outrage and bemusement in equal measure. ‘”Political correctness gone mad” doesn’t even begin to cover it’, fumed a Conservative backbench MP. ‘In the supposed interests of serving all strands of the weird-and-wonderful population of Brighton, people are asked if they are: Transgender (and by the way,...

Surprise ‘gong’ follows UK Astronaut Tim Peake’s CMG (Companion of order of St Michael and St George), and petitions to award the International Space Station (ISS) the Nobel Peace Prize. ‘This isn’t nearly as daft as it sounds’ said legendary 82 year-old former NASA Flight Director Gene Kranz. ‘The United States achieved unprecedented technological advances with its manned spaceflight programs, and much of this was driven by a desire to go to the Moon.  Without the Moon, the whole thing would have been far less exciting – and nobody would have heard of...

MPs will now debate motion: ‘This House Believes that, in a Time of National Crisis, Emily Maitlis Should go on Strictly Come Dancing Whether She Wants to or Not’. ‘It’s no longer just a question of advancing her career’ said a senior BBC News executive ‘it’s about stepping up for her country. ‘The Pound is at its lowest level since goodness-knows-when, the markets are having kittens, and families up and down the land have been torn apart – possibly for generations to come’. The UK needs something that can bring together people throughout...

Millions of consumers besiege shops, hoping to be the first to own ‘The Must-Have Product Of All Time’. With advance sales of over 1,000,000,000, Kettle 7 already has its place in the history books – and company chiefs are gearing up for even greater success when the top-secret design is finally unveiled at the O2 next week. A statement by the company read ‘The kettle – for so long a symbol of Britishness – is about to move on to a whole different level’. ‘Kettle 7 will have several ground-breaking features’: It can freeze water as well as boil it....

Swiss company launches the latest in an endless line of limited edition ‘Moon Watch’ Models. We’ve had ‘The First Omega in Space’ Special Edition – plus Apollo XI 20th, 25th, 30th, 35th, 40th and 45th Anniversary models. Enough already?   Not a bit. Omega’s marketeers have now unveiled their masterpiece: a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to celebrate the first ‘Motion Moment’ on the lunar surface. At precisely 9.07 pm GMT on 20th July 1969, Neil Armstrong took his first Giant Leak for Mankind – and more besides. Using the Lunar Module’s...