Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the gd-system-plugin domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /var/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114

Warning: Declaration of AVH_Walker_Category_Checklist::walk($elements, $max_depth) should be compatible with Walker::walk($elements, $max_depth, ...$args) in /var/www/wp-content/plugins/extended-categories-widget/4.2/class/avh-ec.widgets.php on line 62

Warning: Declaration of AVH_Walker_CategoryDropdown::walk($elements, $max_depth) should be compatible with Walker::walk($elements, $max_depth, ...$args) in /var/www/wp-content/plugins/extended-categories-widget/4.2/class/avh-ec.core.php on line 876
John Leaman | Egg Shells

747 Captain Under Arrest After Heathrow Victory Roll

Pro-Brexit supporter led away by Police and CAA officials. There was terror for 400 passengers yesterday on an inbound flight from New York, as the Captain came over the intercom at 5,000 feet and shouted ‘this is the end…. for Europe’, before performing what is believed to be the first ever genuine barrel-roll by a Boeing 747. Fake videos posted online are believed to have been the inspiration for the pilot to perform what Boeing described as ‘an extremely foolish action’. By co-incidence, pro-Brexit leader Nigel Farage was on board, returning from a short lecture tour...
read more

More 1970s TV Stars Under Investigation By Operation Yewtree

Three ‘major names’ under the spotlight as police pass initial papers to the DPP. Under new guidelines, the names of those involved will not be released unless or until formal charges are brought. However, some information has already come to light as to the identity of those ‘of interest’ to detectives: A multi-coloured cat, linked to inappropriate relations with young mice and a woodpecker A small Welsh steam locomotive, suspected of people trafficking A tight-knit group of moon-based creatures, believed to have pimped out an underage dragon to NASA astronauts In a separate...
read more

Jeremy Kyle Is New Head of ACAS

Presenter’s no-nonsense approach a ‘perfect fit’ for challenging post-Brexit climate. His catch-phrases such as ‘stick something on the end of it’, ‘man up’, ‘it’s my show’ and ‘just grow a pair’ have bulldozed their way through countless family feuds over the years – but now Jeremy Kyle’s talents will be helping to resolve disputes between employers, employees, unions and government departments. ‘In the World of knocking heads together, ACAS is The Daddy’ said a delighted Kyle. ‘”Advisory...
read more

Far-Right ‘Teabag Party’ Gains Westminster Foothold as Bill Cash MP Defects

‘This is our moment’ says veteran Tory as he crosses the floor of the House. ‘Over the past 30 years, we have suffered a creeping erosion not only of our sovereignty but – perhaps more importantly – the loss of those lovely little touches that define Englishness’. ‘Where to begin?’ Drivers no longer letting you pull out at junctions Packets of digestive biscuits now being easy to open Self-adhesive postage stamps that do not require licking Un-vandalised telephone boxes that now do not even smell of urine But his Party’s flagship policy is to...
read more

The Proclaimers To Represent Scotland in 2017 Eurovision Song Contest

Amid the fierce campaigning over Brexit, one crucial issue has so far been missed by the mainstream media. ‘They are the obvious choice’ said First Minister Nicola Sturgeon ‘ and I think I speak for everyone in Scotland in saying ‘enough already’ with votes and referenda for the next few days: let’s just nominate Charlie and Craig now and have done with it’. The duo have enthusiastically agreed, and are reported to be working on various songs. ‘The Eurovision is a great way for countries to kick back, forget their immediate problems, and have a good old...
read more

« Previous Entries Next Entries »