Faced with ever-growing competition from online-only finance providers, parents are turning their children away in unprecedented numbers. For so long seen as the ‘lender of last resort’, parents are struggling to meet their children’s demands for cash. ‘Whether it be fifty quid for a train fare, or an interest-free gift of several thousand pounds to cover tuition fees, we are feeling the pressure from the competition’, said the Bank of Mum and Dad’s Head of Marketing. Reports come in every day of students visiting their parents’ homes – only to find them...

Pro-Brexit supporter led away by Police and CAA officials. There was terror for 400 passengers yesterday on an inbound flight from New York, as the Captain came over the intercom at 5,000 feet and shouted ‘this is the end…. for Europe’, before performing what is believed to be the first ever genuine barrel-roll by a Boeing 747. Fake videos posted online are believed to have been the inspiration for the pilot to perform what Boeing described as ‘an extremely foolish action’. By co-incidence, pro-Brexit leader Nigel Farage was on board, returning from a short lecture tour...

‘Sleeper cells’ of radicalised elderly white middle-class women are suspected of hiding in plain sight among the W.I.’s ranks. The Women’s Institute – formed in 1915 – has traditionally been associated with village fetes, coffee mornings, bring-and-buy sales – and of course cakes. In recent years, though, it has had to confront issues from the grittier side of life: contraception, abortion, people trafficking, gang rape and child pornography. And it may now be facing its biggest ever challenge, with the suggestion that some of its members are turning to...

The English Tiddlywinks Association (ETwA) has moved swiftly to answer accusations that the game has ‘endemic corruption from top to bottom’. An undercover Channel 4 investigation broadcast last month found widespread: Match-rigging, with leading players offered up to £20 to ‘throw the wink’ Use of non-regulation ‘loaded’ winks, made of Kevlar to reduce wear and tear and improve aerodynamic efficiency Doping, with many IOC-blacklisted substances in common use Under-the-table payments to ETwA from provincial towns bidding to host the annual UK Championships The...

Leaked Cabinet papers reveal the Monarch on track for bumper 2026 payday. The money will come from the public purse – prompting outrage from the TaxPayers’ Alliance – but royalists have strongly defended the idea. ‘It’s cheap at the price’ said a retired Colonel from Gloucestershire.  ‘That’s less than £3,000 a day as of June 2016 – or the equivalent of about half a dozen Americans coming over to London to watch the Changing of The Guard or Trooping the Colour’. Others were less enamoured: ‘Bonuses! Is this a Royal Family or a Premier...