Team Aims for ‘First Pumpkin In Space’ With Nazi-Inspired Supergun

Contestants prepare for air cannon action in the annual ‘Punkin Chunkin’ showdown

The prototype ‘V3’ Nazi supergun

Weapon of choice: a pumpkin

America’s annual pumpkin chucking contest returns to Delaware in November 2016 after a two year absence.

First held in 1986, ‘Punkin Chunkin’ is the World’s premier event for those who feel the urge to propel a pumpkin long distances using giant air cannon, trebuchets and catapults.

The sport is governed by the WCPCA (World Championship Punkin Chunkin Association), and aims to promote innovative thinking in science and technology.

‘In our 30th Anniversary year, we’re delighted to return to Delaware and hope this year’s event will be the best ever’, said a spokesman.

The current official world record is 4,694 feet (just under one mile), set by the ‘American Chunker Inc.’ team in 2013.

But a previously-unknown and controversial new challenger has emerged – and is aiming to take the sport to a whole new level.

The ‘Blitzen V4’ team comprises retired engineers – of German descent but now living in South America – who have pooled their experience in ballistics and rocketry to perfect their machine.

‘It is based on the “V3” weapon developed by The Glorious Reich in 1943 to destroy London’ said one of the team – speaking on Skype from Paraguay. ‘That was capable of firing a shell over 1oo miles (from occupied France to London) using a series of staged detonations to accelerate the projectile along the length of its 300 foot barrel.  As a result, the muzzle velocity was over 900 metres per second – instead of the 700 metres per second using a conventional single-charge firing system’.

‘That kind of firepower is potentially capable of putting a pumpkin into orbit.  In preparation, we have acquired a large plot of land in Utah (which has thinner drier air than Delaware, offering lower air resistance) and begun construction on a series of subterranean chambers and tunnels with the assistance of low-status Hispanic laborors’.

The exact location of the site is a closely-guarded secret, but US aeronautical experts have cast doubt on the project’s viability.

‘A pumpkin simply does not have the structural integrity or mass to reach outer space unaided’ commented a senior professor at MIT.  ‘It would require a continual thrust for at least 10 minutes to escape the Earth’s gravitational pull – whereas the Chunkin rules stipulate only one initial thrust is allowed.  They also don’t allow any form of explosives to be used (just air pressure or mechanical leverage) so again it’s a non-starter.  And it is a competition of distance not altitude.

However, the German team is undaunted.  ‘This is nonsense.  We have appealed to the WCPCA to create a new category allowing our gun to take part.  We are also encouraged by the recent relaxation of rules in the US on drone usage.  Obviously a pumpkin travelling at Mach 5 doesn’t really count as a drone – but it’s in the right ballpark’.

‘We also fully support Donald Trump and the NRA’s staunch defence of the Second Amendment’.