It isn’t just driverless cars that will need to ‘decide’ what to do in no-win situations… Recent research has shown that most people would prefer driverless cars if necessary to sacrifice their occupants rather than plough into a group of children. Yeah right.  But this is only one of many scenarios in which autonomous devices of all kinds will have to make split-second judgements. Others include: Vacuum cleaners: should they suck up and kill spiders, wood lice and ladybirds – or sacrifice the cleanliness of carpets? Alarm clocks: should they allow some...

A jubilant Richard Branson visited Brighton yesterday to announce victory in his long-fought battle to take over the Victorian-era line. ‘We’ve waited far too long for this moment; typically, UK rail franchises are reviewed or renewed within a decade – so 133 years is somewhat overdue’ joked the billionaire. ‘Anyway, we now have a clean sheet of paper from which to start upgrading the line.  Firstly, the latest ‘High Speed’ track will replace the current narrow gauge, and in-cab signalling will allow our flagship Class 91 locomotive-hauled trains to operate...

Effects of explosive methane emissions could undermine the efforts of global treaties. ‘MaxLax’ is certainly living up to its name.  The Swiss-developed drug can entirely purge a human’s digestive system in under three minutes. ‘This is the laser-guided missile of laxatives’, said the product’s press release just two weeks ago when it was launched on global markets – after three years of clinical trials. But not everyone is so impressed.  Greenpeace has called for a worldwide ban, saying that if MaxLax achieves the sales its makers forecast, it could lead to...

With growing concern over the plight of Britain’s public lavatories, new show could create a ’cause celebre’. Springwatch, Autumnwatch and Winterwatch have all been popular hits for the BBC – imparting fascinating and little-known facts about the weather, wildlife, flowers and trees. The shows’ proven format (of going on for day-after-day-after-day – for what seems like forever), is now being applied to a new variation: Toiletwatch. Several hidden cameras will be installed in a busy public lavatory at an undisclosed location.  According to the BBC’s press...

US Property Tycoon may have the answer to ‘The Garden of England’s immigration woes. Through history, many famous walls have been built to keep people in or out:  The Great Wall of China, the Berlin Wall, Hadrian’s Wall among them. That tradition may be about to return – to Kent.  One of England’s most-visited counties, it relies on a thriving tourist industry – but prefers its guests go home afterwards. With local residents growing increasingly restless at the numbers of immigrants arriving from overseas, local politicians are having to face some tough decisions....

Gardeners are incredulous at news that the presenter faces multiple charges brought by French Riot Police. The darling of middle England, 67 year old Titchmarsh first came to fame through Gardeners’ World and Ground Force, before ploughing another successful furrow as a novelist. ‘We just can’t take it in’ said Edna Hilton, President of the Harrogate Gardeners’ Guild. ‘He was the Guest of Honour at our Summer Fete in 2012 – and was the perfect gentleman’. Details are still sketchy, but it appears that Titchmarsh was one of a crowd of drunken England...